let me re-point out one of the greatest lessons learned, as one author pointed out
"the most bitter tears are shed over graves -- over words unsaid and deeds undone"

[sigh].. as much as i believe in "not crying over spilt milk", regrets are regrets, and they'll always be there..

sing it mariah... "well i guess i'm tryna be nonchalant about it.. i'm goin to extremes to prove i'm fine without u... but in reality i'm slowly losin my mind.. underneath the guise of a smile, gradually i'm dyin inside"

**inna lilaahi wa inna ilayhi raaji-oon**  143-637

got back a lil while ago cuz i had to before madre did.. chilled with some of my closest high school friends who i havent seen since graduation, and wow...  such lil things make such a big difference.. it felt soo good and had such an awesomee time after doing nothing really.. *n ooh wee its the ultimate feeling =) *  its these kinda people, the ones u can have a greeeaat time with by just sitting there, talking, cracking up, being stupid, reminiscing, laughing at yourselves with -- it's these types of people u truly need in your life, these types of people that positively affect ur life the most

i guess i didnt realize as much until now how much i'm going to miss some people.. dont get me wrong, i knew i'd miss them, but now its just on a whole new level.. its like after a nice vacation when u want to pack all ur lil relatives (the cool ones anyway) in ur suitcases n take em with u? .... nevermind.

anyways so yeah great night, but after this weekend inshallah i'll have even more, new, great nights =)  i can chill with my "forbidden loveR" [as hani put it] ALLLLL i want!!!

in addition to the last entry, on top of words from alina here are some words from khadeija (the singer)..

*said the boys look so good, but they mindz is not ready... so here we go yo* *[said i'd rather talk to a man cuz his mind is so steady...so here we go yo]*

i gotta stay up for another half hour at least cuz once i go to sleep, i wont be able to get up for fajr.. sucks cuz i won't be able to pull this ish as much when school starts..

soooo since i dont really have jack to do, and some smartass FORGOT HER FONE CHARGER SOMEWHERE 60 MILES AWAY, i enlighten u with some late night thoughts on xanga.. [actually it's alina's philosophical conclusion =) ]


"all guys are confused from the age of 18-22.."

i think its even before the age of 18... gives more of a reason to not eeeeeven deal with that ish, as if we needed another right?

we have soo much to be grateful for, but more often than not, we still cry and complain like lil b***es.. now u can blame it again on "human nature", or u can accept damn responsibility and try to not be so selfish in the future..

clothes on my back, assurance of my next meal, roof over my head, 2 eyes, 2 ears, 2 legs, 2 arms, ALHAMDULILLAH -- and still time and time again i find myself complaining.. i went into this whole "optimism" thing a whiiiiiiile ago and decided its about damn time that i look at life from a better angle... i guess it's not as much into play as i want it to be, but im working on it...

yeah shit happens, but you will never ever be satisfied until YOU CHOOSE to be.  "Happiness isn't having what you want, it's wanting what you have."

i believe that it was a hadith that said something to this effect -- in deen matters, always look at those above you (to compare yourself to)... but in worldly matters, always look at those below you....